From a fast food bag, "Our Secret is No Secret. Why does ********'s food taste so good? Because we make it the way you would. With 100% beef. White meat chicken. Farm fresh produce. From some of the most trusted brands in America."
And the chicken says, "An Excellent Source of Happiness."
WHAT??? There are just so many things wrong with this. I don't even know where to start. First, the idea of marketing fast food as healthy baffles me. Second, they make it the way I would??? um, sorry but no. And selling happiness, I don't think so.
Maybe it should read:
Why does ******'s food taste so good? Because we are careful to make sure it doesn't even resemble real food. We put all kinds of artificial flavors and preservatives. With beef from food lots where cows are walking knee deep in manure, fed food that is not part of their natural diet, crowded into cramped quarters, and pumped full of antibiotics so they won't be sick. With chickens who are bred to have breasts so big they can't even walk, much less forage for food like chickens are supposed to. With produce covered in pesticides and shipped from who knows how many miles away.
But then, who would buy that?